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Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. My standards are higher than what Ive seen lately. Then you die. Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. Thats because theres no vacancy in my heart. 65. Feel my shirt. 9. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. 101. If you don't want to explain how you're feeling, then don't. Here's another way to respond to your crush. Elon Musk targets Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep forgetting that you're still alive' The Twitter spat was in response to Sanders' demand that "the extremely wealthy pay their fair share." Before you complain about anything, be thankful for your life and the things that are still going well.". However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. 82. 74. IDK, pick your favorite fictional player. If theyre too busy to text you back, you need to be too busy to continue having them in your life, or on your social media. I am doing wellor that could be my anti-depressants speaking. Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. It must have been a long, lonely journey. 59. Should I consider that a marriage proposal from you? Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. Whats a funny way to respond to the question 'Are you still alive?' The best GIFs are on GIPHY. Im glad that I sleep so peacefully, knowing that Im single and aint nobody cheating on me tonight. [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. Could have been worse, right. You were a young man when you last spoke. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. Relationship expert Susan Winter recommends gracefully leaving as the quickest and easiest way out. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. A real low-life. I only went to the gym four times instead of my usual five." Sarcastic response: "Yeah totally. It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. Things can't get much better and you want the world to know. Nah, just kidding (though it might be true to some of you). Ever wondered: "What if I'm buried when I'm just in a coma?" (Act suspicious of everything and everyone!). 90 Sarcastic Quotes for Witty Comebacks Full of Sarcasm - Quote Ambition Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. Your hair looks great! Scroll down! I dont chase them just to satisfy my sexual desires. If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. Haha use this humorous response to make someone laugh-you never know, you just might brighten their day. I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? When they play it cool, play it ice cold. 350 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. Do you like nature, despite what it did to you? Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. 47. I'm alive! I just adore my own company. Not Bad. Nevertheless, life must go on, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow, as they sayeven if you don't want to discuss your relationship status! 36. #maudit # peter o'toole # happy birthdayyy # im glad youre still alive. Im in a loving, committed relationship with my bed. If youre going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. 38. Don't Push It Too Far. Who knows, maybe you can steer a conversation in a more intriguing path. If this doesn't get a response, it's sure to get a laugh. 13. The Funniest Replies for People Who Are Always Asked "Are You Okay?" Id hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me. I love you. Youre not going to use the same response to your dad as you would your best friend, right? 5 Ways To Respond To Hey Stranger And Other Annoying Texts There is plenty of room. I'm alive, whoa! Another excuse that people use is Im just hoping in the shower. Its no secret that essays take longer to write than typical text messages. 88. You enjoy making this girl smile and make her day with your humor. Now that is pretty f****** funny. A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? response, because I need clarity in my interactions. But half the time, it is a nightmare. Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?". Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Your email address will not be published. Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. While using humor and creativity in your responses is fun, ensure you steer clear from using puns related to religion and sensitive topics. Im a wreck of a human being, thats why! No, waitIm actually plural. I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. Youre like Monday: no one likes you. Im still waiting for my Superman/Wonder Woman. My lawyer has stated that I dont have to answer that question. And it's time for me to make my escape. Im not ready to share my food with anyone yet. 2 I ask for your birth chart one time, and suddenly, I'm a mind-reading witch that knows what you're thinking. Depends who you ask, if you ask me, it was fine. Because your ass is out of this world! But if youre getting fed up with always being asked the same questions, you shouldnt feel bad about giving a funny or witty reply. 1. 26. The government? It's best part of the whole movie. Passed into the next room and told me to tell you go fuck yourself. Im too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine. I'd rather answer to a 'What's your favorite "I'd rather die" response alternative' thread on reddit. Youre free to go. Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman? Ghosting is an unfortunately very common occurrence, according to a 2020 Hinge survey, which found that 91% of users had been ghosted at least once. and our They might even steal it to use in the future. 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship. Everyone always thinks being asked how you are means your health or a general standing-but what about if it isn't? (Explained). is willie rogers of the soul stirrers still alive; cal berkeley football recruiting questionnaire; american housewife cancelled. Hmmph. Great, but I should warn you that I am totally biased. 5. Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! Some of us are just destined to walk this world alone. Oh, well 8. How Am I Still Alive. Joshua Burns, "Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men." Why dont you tell me, you seem to have a pretty good view from there. If you want me to accept you as you are, Im going to have to lie to myself about liking you. WHAT DID THEY SAY?? It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. I and others have experienced, on several occasions, that your breath. 31. I agree, thanks for sharing. Youre not as bad as everyone says. This is one of those worst epic responses to I love you makes us feel for the poor love-struck fellow. Everyone wants me, but no one dares! Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. Sometimes, being emotional stops us from replying to the messages of others. Thank you Fred. She is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner from The Priority Academy and has over 17 years of experience in content writing and editing for online media. Theyre incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their whole day. 9. Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes (6 quotes) - goodreads.com Hope you're well". Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. Socioeconomically? I have been going through GOT in my work life. My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man. 42. I dont have time to accommodate other human beings in my life! If you've ever worked in an office, used municipal buildings or lived in a city, chances are, you already know what public notices are bland, dull, usually complaining and rarely funny posters that tell us somewhat useful information about all kinds of things. Totally fine! But sometimes sending a little message before excommunication can give you the confidence boost you need to dropkick them from your mind for forever. [*clap your hands*]. Some good old fashioned sarcasm, there is nothing wrong with it. Who knows, they might just do it. If you're friendly and check in with each other here and there, reply but keep the conversation short. If you like me, send them while Im alive. Brian Clough (football team manager), I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. Clarence Darrow (lawyer), Millions long for immortality who dont know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Susan Ertz (author), In this world, nothing can be certain, except death and taxes. Benjamin Franklin (inventor), Life is hard. Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Winston Churchill (politician), At a formal dinner party, the person nearest to death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin (comedian), Dont send me flowers when Im dead. Oftentimes, these people just cant help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with. At minding my own business? Im still trying to figure out an answer to that question if Im honest. | Are you surviving? Then the worms eat you. If its better than yours Ill chalk it up as a win. I hope you are at your best too. The hottest single of the year is me. So, you changed your mind? I see youve chosen this time to humiliate yourself in public. What if questions can help you form connections fast, but you don't want to rush or force it. 17. via: Pexels / George Pak. I dont know how you do it, but after a shower, you look even greasier. I am really just trying hard to avoid ambiguous questions at this moment. . If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. "Alright. 100 Good Comebacks Best Funny, Witty Comebacks Ever - Parade [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room]. You have an old soul. Sure, we all have things to do, but when someone takes two days to reply, that is a sign that they are the problem. I've come up with a compilation of funny and clever answers to the question Why are you still single?. Overwatch 2 Friendly Reminder To Leave a LIKE & SUBSCRIBE, ThanksJoin this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/cha. I cant complain, not that anyone listens anyway. If ugliness was measured in bricks, I would be the Great Wall of China. Whether its the Roman empire or feudal society. You don't need to miss them, because you are willing to travel to them, and kiss them. 58. Then I hope you find someone whos good looking, honest, smart, and cultured. Thats because I only enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge. If you've been stuck inside doing chores and homework all day, and your parents ask you how you are, what response do they expect? Well, seeing as you care, how long do you have? I havent found anyone who matches my kinks yet. How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? ", This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes. Recognize the other person's boundaries, and try not to cross them. It's Okay. After all, every single day that you're still alive is a good day overall. Some people may have thyroid problems, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. If there is just one valid reason for someone not replying to you, that reason would be their death. This one is a bit long. (Say it like he or she is complimenting you even though he or she is not.) Mark Twain (author), "I like sleeping; it's like death without the commitment." 2. This one gets to the point of what they want to know, it's humorous, and it makes ya think. [Read: How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts]. - Anonymous. If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer. For your information, Im in a relationship with food. My grandfather had a ton of these. 11. Stand still, so I can hit you with my truck. Hanging by a thread. But, whats the likelihood of that happening? This might be okay if they take up to 24 hours, but not more than that. June 14, 2022; pros and cons of stem cell therapy for knees . Sometimes, it can be hard thinking on your feet, especially when youre joking around with your friends or in the midst of a heated exchange. All jokes aside, death is one of the few "sure things" in life, and it's also something all of us have in common. 13. 24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies Thatll Make You Smile, Is My Boss a Narcissist Quiz (10 Questions to Help You Find Out!). I was actually talking to my friend". 28 Witty Responses To Ghosting That'll Haunt Them Forever - Bustle Unknown, "He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend . I'm wondering how you are. With a self-assured stance and casual body language, you won't create any . All you have to do is save this page, or commit to memory some of our favorite insults from the following list, and youll be all set. funny response to are you still alive funny response to are you still alive. Physically? How do you think that I am doing? Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. But it can be funny. 1. On this page, I've gathered together 100 of the best. Do you have a minute? 2. Playful and sassy dig, then blocked. It lets him know that you love spending time together. So much better than most people. Thats because I eat Doritos chips too loudly. I think it's a great response when you're possibly feeling cranky. (Wriggle your hips), Oh, stop it, will you? Lets face itat my age, Im very pleased to be anywhere. George Burns (comedian), The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive. Joshua Burns, All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. Lord Byron (poet), Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that Im listening to it. George Carlin (comedian), For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Johnny Carson (talk show host), I am prepared to meet my maker. 91. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. On a scale of one to punching someone in the face, I am at 7.5. *licks lips*. Check out: Image credits Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash. #fyp #basketball #viral #fyp #viralvideo #funny #comedy". Happy, and I know it. Some people spend all their time on their phone. [deleted] 5 yr. ago. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. 39. 101 Savage, Good Comebacks for Every Witty, Funny or Rude - LovePanky [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. Thats why Im rooting for your penis. Alive Jokes. It's best to say when you're in a horrible situation, like in a class you can't stand. Save the high-quality PDF version on your device now. How do you usually respond to the question? You may join me, though. The data will take longer to reach Earth than it would if it was sent from someone on Earth. Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! Like seriously, you hoped for him to be run over by a truck or something. 25. Heart-shattering. 22. Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! 45 Funny Memes About Life in 2023 - Happier Human TikTok video from Mark Winston (@markwinstonbball): "Are you still alive? At the end of the day, if theyre not putting in the effort to let you know theyre not interested, theyre probably not worth your time. Have you been thinking? Check-in later and well find out if I did or not. Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. Ive never seen such a small mind inside such a large head before. As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty. If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. *Siri activates front camera*. I've Been Thinking About You Too They might not be with you right now, but they will always be on your mind. a fate worse than death." Spiritually? 11. Mentally? He will be missed. Thats because I get about as much attention as a white crayon. Maybe you can Google it. 85. Canva. Being single is much better than being married. Your response should depend on the rapport you share with the sender. Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. 52. You don't need to say it. You just live. Reply. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. Thats because my husband/wife wont let me date. So, it might be wise to double-check they're still alive before you complain. Maybe you said something so vile, so horrible, so disgusting that they no longer want to speak to you. Everyday that you're on the right side of the grass is a good day. How do you want me to be? Still Alive synonyms - 44 Words and Phrases for Still Alive Check out the following infographic for some practical tips to maintain a conversation and take it forward.SaveIllustration: StyleCraze Design Team. 48. 1. This is another funny response that you can use to say that you did a little something different this morning. Maybe their roommate was sick. Read more about Martin here. 35 Best Texts to Respond to a Date that has Ghosted You If you're really feeling them, you can give them one last chance to make up for their communication lag. 71. Use sarcasm to let them know that you do not approve. Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. Hello, how are you? Could Be Payday. More like give me a sign that you're still alive. It was also revealed that 40% of users who said they had done the ghosting did so because they simply didnt know how to explain their disinterest and felt that disappearing altogether was less hurtful. Im jealous of people who dont know you. 3. What a miracle. 99 Savage And Funny Answers To "How Old Are You?" You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. "Fine" is a boring conversation-killer. 86. Why not laugh about it and allow it to bring us closer together? Herodotus (historian), "At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. This person is taking so long to reply, you will be waiting for geology to change before you get one. Plotting how Im going to take over the world. You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. By acting as though they are replying too fast, you highlight the fact that they are replying too slow. Im a little busy right now, but Id love the chance to ignore you some other time. If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. In reality, they are not cool, they are just rude. (This line came from the cartoon show. Voice command: Alexa, I am your father. Despite not being the most popular topic of conversation, the concept of death has inspired quite a few clever and insightful sayings over the years. All rights reserved. Living an amazing dream. I mean, no matter how amazing our lives are, there's always something to complain about. . Doing fairly well, unless you have some contagious disease and are about to infect me . Your secrets are always safe with me. In a coma, you still have brain function, which doctors can measure by observing electrical activity and your reactions to external stimuli. For instance, a friend will be amused when you sarcastically reply, Not today, Satan! However, I need to take you back about 12 years to answer that question. Moving in with Roommates? Here are some funny, witty, snarky, smart, and sarcastic responses to some of those annoying everyday questions its hard to avoid: I couldnt possibly cover all of the annoying everyday questions that are probably chipping away at you, but here are some of the most popular: Related 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), Related 29+ Funny Responses to Compliments. I always yawn when Im interested. #19: Bumble comeback The best comeback text yet. Whats with all these questions? Arthur lived a short life, but none could doubt that it was a good one. Theres too much Ghostbusters texting potential to not take advantage of the pun-tastic opportunity. Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. I hate to break it to you, but Im not single. If they are not going to reply, perhaps the archaeologists who discover their phone will. It is a humorous way of saying they have not heard from you in a while. So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! Otherwise, we would still be with them today. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Funny Responses to Everyday Questions. You a cop? You sure have a bodacious rackfor a guy. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. 18. Now you can be! It depends on what or who I compare myself to. Patrick Moore (astronomer), "Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote' so that on my deathbed, my last words could be 'end quote.'" When someone insults someone, the insulted might walk out of the room, or just stop talking to the other person.